people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
