What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
