I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
