Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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