The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
