Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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