Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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