I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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