At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
