This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
