no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
