dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
