Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
