That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
