so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize