They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to have your abortion
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
