If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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