Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
