Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
