Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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