u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
