Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We have started to decorate penises.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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