i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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