Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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