yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
