Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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