4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
