Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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