How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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