Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my being single is dangerous.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize