so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
