I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
