"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
