omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
