i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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