Don't you send me to vm
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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