I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I intend to get homeless drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
