mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
