on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
