i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this beer tastes like vomit already
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
