dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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