is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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