so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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