My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
