why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
