i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
