That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
