Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
