I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
