So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
