the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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