i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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