Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize