Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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