Will you blow on my dice?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Come on in and take your pants off
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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