We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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