Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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