Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
