i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
