am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize