i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
