I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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