READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
