Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
