I heard we made out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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